Dysmorphia

There is a chaos in me
A tempest in darkness
A sound and a fury
Most distort memories of their past
But I actively tamper with the present
The war drums are beating
Again and again and deafening
I think in this cadence
I think in this style
I think with this diction
The war drums sound
And I write the notes
My disjointed thoughts
My abnormal psyche
My unraveling life
Decanted and decadent
I cannot stop these words
No, I cannot restrain them
In reality or perception
I am losing my mind
Skewing intentions
Flooded with rage
Isolating dysfunctionality
Projecting the distrust I deserve
Trying to keep it all in check
Without veracity
Without intimacy
When all the passion is gone
When all the pleasure is gone
Coffee at midnight
Bourbon at dawn
Unable or unwilling
To forego stimulation
This cranium can’t reward itself
And a hundred highs later
I still need more
Indeed my friend
As if I want to fail
As if I will never learn